*sigh*

They're disappointed. They're disappointed in ME. They're disappointed with WHO I am, WHAT I have become and have always been, WHERE I see myself as far as I can see, and the people I choose to be with.

I can't blame them because thats how everyone has always seen me. For them, I am pathetic because I have no reasons for doing what I'm doing. I am irresponsible because I am forgetful. I am an Idiot, because I don't do things the right way or.. THEIR way. I am arrogant because I am proud of something they don't think I have. I am aggressive because I choose to explain myself. I am a problem, because I never have the solutions. I have betrayed them, because I have done things they didn't want me to. I am shameless because I say that I have no qualms about doing things I want, MY way. I am weak, because I give in to the smallest demands, because I tend to avoid things. I lack courage because I can't face the consequences of my decisions. I am a burden because my demands are too much. I am detached because I don't like to bond with them. I aimless because I don't know what I want.

I am not saying they're wrong. Is it possible for almost everyone to have the same opinion? No. So, I am what they think I am. But only for them.

They don't understand why I do things. Even if they do, they think they're the wrong reasons. But who said they're reasons were right? They were wrong for me.

Am i irresponsible or human? I have tried getting my things in order but no matter what the effort, every time I get something right, for them it was just "co-incidence".

For me, I'd be an idiot for doing things their way. I'd be an idiot for doing what they thought right but what i thought was wrong. I'd be an idiot for not making my own decisions and learning from the wrong ones.

I'm not arrogant. I cannot help it if they do not see me the way I actually am. If they think I am arrogant, they should know what about too. But they don't see any good in me, nothing to be arrogant about. I have never made anyone a part of the things I CAN do, because I am not proud of them. What I can do, the whole world can. Thats how I have always felt.

I am aggressive. YES. I am. I cannot take the blame when it is NOT my fault. I cannot take responsibility to clean up the mess that isn't mine. And therefore, I choose to explain why I'm not sorry, why it isn't me who has blundered, why I cannot give in.

Am i a problem or are their problems to complicated to solve. I apologize for not having the solutions but, what the hell, you don't either.

I have not betrayed them because I never agreed to doing things the way they want me to, do things that they would want me to. I have never changed my decisions easily and I have never accepted theirs .

I am not shameless because I am not ashamed of the things I have done. The things I have done have made me what I am today and I am not ashamed of what I know I am.

I am not weak. I just prefer to avoid them.

I CAN face the consequences of my decisions. Their derogatory remarks, complaints and opinions are the consequences and I am facing them. I am still doing what i think is right.

I don't demand a lot. I just want the freedom to do what I WANT, without having them tell me how I should go about everything.

I am not aimless, they just don't like what I'm aiming for. There is a lot I want to do, I just can't decide what I want to do first.

Am i detached? Or is it that I choose to stay away from the people, around whom I am not myself, who have a problem with who I am, what I have always been, what I will always be- ME!