I've always preferred the summer over the winter. The long days in my blankets, loaded with a hundred layers of wool, eating anything and everything I can get my hands on, gets to me after a while. I've always been intolerant to the cold. I've never really enjoyed the feeling of a chilly wind that freezes you to the very depth of your bones.
Ironically enough, I'm waiting for the winter this year. I don't know why but when I think of it, I can only think of one reason.
I feel vulnerable to the winter. This whole summer, I've been creating this shield around me and my weaknesses.... So much so, I almost want to feel vulnerable to myself again. I want to feel something get to my depths... Leave me pleasantly SHOCKED at what it can ignite in me.
It's the season of changed perceptions.. For me that is. I wouldn't want to explain why.
My last winter was special. And come what may, it always will be. Time has flown by since then, at a pace so fast. It's been like this gust of wind that only gave me the gift of a couple of breaths. The season changed and along with that the very essence of the winds that took away with them every emotion I exhaled.... blew them so far away into existence that I can't even think of reaching out for them again.
That season was a tiny but major part of my summer. It was how I got in touch with the void.. the vacuum the winds around me were. It was that vacuum I filled with long conversations with people who thought I mattered.
My summer held the essence of friendship. I can't even explain how, because its just that overwhelming.
I found love in the winter.. I lost it at the crack of dawn in the summer.
But I want to feel those winter winds again. I want to breathe in that essence. I want there to be another winter like the WINTER OF 2009!
2 comments:
Past time seldom comes back. Don't even think of waiting for it.
^Sigh.
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